What Makes a Brat? A Thomistic Guide to Childhood, Virtue, and Parenting

What Causes a Brat?

The occurrence of a brat is not random. It is the predictable result of psychological and moral deficiencies that arise when a child is not properly formed in virtue. According to classical Christian anthropology, especially St. Thomas Aquinas, human beings are designed to grow in virtue as they mature. These virtues do not appear overnight. They must be cultivated slowly, intentionally, and consistently.

Parents play the central role in this cultivation. Their task is to guide the child at each stage of development, helping them acquire the virtues proper to their age. When this formation is absent, the child inevitably becomes a brat.

Definition: What Is a Brat?

A brat is a person who:

• demands that his whims be satisfied,

• becomes angry when they are not, and

• possesses the ability to control himself but chooses not to.

Babies cry when they do not get what they want, but we do not call babies brats because they are not yet capable of self‑control. A brat, therefore, is defined not by age but by the refusal to exercise the self‑mastery appropriate to one’s stage of development.

A Thomistic Explanation of Brattiness

St. Thomas teaches that as a child matures, he should acquire new virtues and strengthen the ones he already has. A child who lacks the virtues proper to his age is not simply “different.” He is missing something essential to his nature.

Human beings have an obligation to grow in virtue as they grow older. Children do not understand this on their own, which is why they rely on their parents for guidance. For parents, forming virtue is not optional. It is as essential to their vocation as providing food and shelter.

The Vices Behind Brattiness

Two primary vices characterize the brat:

• self‑indulgence

• an inability to suffer even small discomforts.

A well‑formed child learns to embrace small sacrifices for the sake of the good. He discovers moderation, patience, and the normalcy of suffering. The brat, however, was never trained in these virtues and therefore never grew.

Just as physical strength requires regular exercise, moral strength requires regular practice in self‑denial. Without this training, the child remains emotionally and morally weak.

Are Brats to Blame?

It depends. While every person has free will, the young brat is largely the product of his parents. A child who develops health problems from eating only junk food is not solely at fault. Likewise, a child who lacks the virtues proper to his age is usually suffering from a failure of parental formation.

Of course, some children have genuine mental or neurological disorders that affect behavior regardless of parental effort. These must be approached with compassion and understanding.

The Adult Brat: What Happens When Virtue Is Never Formed

The brat does not remain a child. He becomes an adult with the same vices, only now expressed in more destructive ways. These are the adults who:

• erupt in anger over small inconveniences,

• lash out when things do not go their way,

• behave irrationally at their children’s sporting events,

• or expect the world to accommodate their whims.

If parents do not instill virtue in childhood, they will be responsible for creating adults who are, in effect, grown‑up brats.

Final Takeaway

Brattiness is not a mystery. It is the natural outcome of a failure to cultivate virtue. Parents who take their vocation seriously must train their children in self‑control, moderation, and the ability to suffer small discomforts. Without this formation, the child will not grow into a mature, virtuous adult.

For more on this topic, see Chapter 7 of Spiritual Parenting.